i noticed one thing as i was reading a james bond book in my room three nights ago.
the most reoccuring initials that i noticed on TV and the media are JB.
James Blond
Jack Bauer[24]
Jack Black[actor]
Jonas Brothers[barf]
Johnny Bravo
James Blunt[singer]
and
Jason Bourne
and in my own life:
Judiah Bristol[my bro]
Jim Buker[a brotha from anotha motha]
Junior Blonde[my cartoon character's alter ego]
and
Drakkar Noir.
this is the cologne i use.
it translates as Just Black in some language.
anyway...
i have a little more to say about the school.
there are:
kenyans
one Mexican
two Russians
two Romanians
one Morocaan
one Russian-Italian.
and Indians.
no, not the i-love-nature-sleep-in-a-tent-and-dance-around-a-camp-fire-yelling "whoo!whoo!whoo!"indians.
oh, big news.
a thief entered our school three days ago.
and he was beaten up.
pretty bad.
here's how it went down.
there was this guy.
just a random guy.
and he had started walking around the school a few hours before he broke in.
you see, we had soccer matches and a girls' basketball game
so i guess he was trying to pose as a teacher or parent or something.
he failed.
miserably.
why?
cause no one in the whole school knew the guy.
so he breaks into the Deputy Headmaster's[Americans call them "assistant principal"] office.
and he tried to take confiscated phones, electronics, a flash disk, and a laptop.
he failed.
miserably.
why?
he did it in broad daylight.
it wasn't even 6pm.
he was caught by the Assi. Principal who then called the guards at the gate.
they entered the reception and started kicking the crap out of him.
most of the student in the school had gone home already but some were still there.
two even got in on the action, kicking the thief.
in total he was beaten up by about 8 guys for like 30mins with fists, feet, a metal pole, and a chair.
then he went to jail to probably be beaten some more.
by the inmates.
he wont be breaking and entering again anytime soon.
so that's justice in kenya.
later.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
day354
hey there.
let me edumacate you on the kenyan school status quo.
like any other high school there are groups or as some like to say
"clicks".
they are as follows.
THE "IN" PEOPLE.
these are the in people that are good looking, rich or just plain cool.
they have a lot of "friends" and not so many real ones.
they are athletic and good at a lot of things.
sometimes they're smart.
sometimes they're not.
but people don't care because you don't have to be smart to be popular.
THE NERDS AND GEEKS.
yes, the lisping, braces-wearing, pocket-protected, accident prone, bully-magnetic, four-eyed freaks of nature that don't have lives.
i'm not a fan of bullying or making fun of them but that's high school.
and that's what they're called.
they're usually the quiet one in class.
the one's who talk about dungeons an dragons
and
"my level198 Snoggwoton will totally kick your level147 Fonwizzle's butt at the CardBattle on Saturday!"
and
"the center of the telekinetic pull times the sum of the hypotenuse of the square root of opposite element in parallel with the physiological segment in which a....."
yea.
you know yourselves.
THE LONERS.
the people that sit alone at lunch time talk to no one and have no known friends.
these are the loners.
they are never talkative and hardly say anything.
they aren't bullies.
but they aren't victims either.
they mind their own business.
THE BULLIES.
quite self-explanatory.
they live to make other kid's lives as painful as possible.
'nuf said.
THE OTHER PEOPLE.
these are the people that have the qualities of some of the other groups.
but they don't fit into one perfectly.
like me.
most of the qualities i have are in the IN group.
but only because
i'm athletic and good at things
and i have a lot of friends.
some of them are fake.
and by fake don't mean i made them up.
but i can't really count on all of them to be there for me.
like the ones i have in America.
i don't fit into the IN group.
but i'm glad.
even though i'm not so rich or so good looking.
but hey, that's life.
gives you all the things you need, some of the things you want.
leaving you wanting more and wishing you needed less.
later.
let me edumacate you on the kenyan school status quo.
like any other high school there are groups or as some like to say
"clicks".
they are as follows.
THE "IN" PEOPLE.
these are the in people that are good looking, rich or just plain cool.
they have a lot of "friends" and not so many real ones.
they are athletic and good at a lot of things.
sometimes they're smart.
sometimes they're not.
but people don't care because you don't have to be smart to be popular.
THE NERDS AND GEEKS.
yes, the lisping, braces-wearing, pocket-protected, accident prone, bully-magnetic, four-eyed freaks of nature that don't have lives.
i'm not a fan of bullying or making fun of them but that's high school.
and that's what they're called.
they're usually the quiet one in class.
the one's who talk about dungeons an dragons
and
"my level198 Snoggwoton will totally kick your level147 Fonwizzle's butt at the CardBattle on Saturday!"
and
"the center of the telekinetic pull times the sum of the hypotenuse of the square root of opposite element in parallel with the physiological segment in which a....."
yea.
you know yourselves.
THE LONERS.
the people that sit alone at lunch time talk to no one and have no known friends.
these are the loners.
they are never talkative and hardly say anything.
they aren't bullies.
but they aren't victims either.
they mind their own business.
THE BULLIES.
quite self-explanatory.
they live to make other kid's lives as painful as possible.
'nuf said.
THE OTHER PEOPLE.
these are the people that have the qualities of some of the other groups.
but they don't fit into one perfectly.
like me.
most of the qualities i have are in the IN group.
but only because
i'm athletic and good at things
and i have a lot of friends.
some of them are fake.
and by fake don't mean i made them up.
but i can't really count on all of them to be there for me.
like the ones i have in America.
i don't fit into the IN group.
but i'm glad.
even though i'm not so rich or so good looking.
but hey, that's life.
gives you all the things you need, some of the things you want.
leaving you wanting more and wishing you needed less.
later.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
day350
i'm allergic to chocolate.
great.
just great.
everything bad happens to me in kenya.
i found out at lunch the other day.
i don't usually have chocolate.
actually i have it almost never.
but i decided i would find out if i was allergic.
like my dad.
i would always joke about it.
i mean
who in the world is allergic to chocolate?
me.
i thought i wasn't allergic to anything.
people are allergic to peanuts.
chemicals.
special color dyes.
even water.
i break out will suspicious looking rashes.
especially on my fourarms.
...
did i just write fourarms?
ha.
four arms.
a common mistake.
i do not in fact have four arms.
maybe it's just kenyan chocolate?
i hope?
....
this week is my week off.
actually it's my week to do school work.
i just don't have to get up early.
but it's kinda ironic....
they give us vacation...
to do work...
??
did i miss something there?
when i'm not doing school work or avoiding chocolate
i'm drawing cartoons and stick figures.
i'm also on the school basketball team.
the most fun i have at school is on that court.
it's that or
i'm writing my novel.
or rapping.
or working out.
or adding to my comic strip, JUNIOR.
or dreaming weird dreams.
or not getting an sleep.
ok.
so here's one of the dreams i had.
i had the power of flight.
and people were hiding things in suitcases for me to find.
but i don't actually know they were for me.
on impulse i took the suitcases.
i don't remember what i did with them when i took them.
i was also wearing gloves.
while i was in the air i threw them at green and light colored trees.
after that i went to open the gate, thinking that a huge truck was leaving the house.
but instead here comes a small guy with a wheelbarrow.
i was completely confused.
i went to the back of the truck to sit down.
there's this guy there accusing me of something.
i deny whatever he's accusing me of and ask him if they found my finger prints.
he says,
and i quote,
"Big whoop, you wore gloves."
i then explain to him that i threw them at the trees.
and then he said something that confused me so much i woke up.
"You cried and washed our hands off with your tears."
another night.
this time there were no dreams.
well
technically
i didn't sleep.
it happened last thursday night.
i finish my work and studying at about 12am.
i go to sleep.
at least i try.
there's this stupid ladder in my room.
it fell waking me up and scaring the crap out of me.
then i couldn't go back to sleep.
i would close my eyes for a few seconds and almost drift off...
but then "EEEEEEEEE!!!!"
the horrible sound of a mosquito, right in my ear.
so i stumbled out of bed to get my mosquito net when i stubbed my toe on my desk leg.
i finally get the net.
i climb into bed and i hit my head on the desk and my phone falls then slides under the bed.
great.
if i thought that was all....
someone turns on the light and says
"wake up".
at this point in time i'm screaming "why me?why me?".
in my head of course.
i finally reach down and get my phone.
4:53am.
2hrs and 7mins of sleep i'm betting.
today is day350
i can't wait to leave.
i say i can't wait.
but here i am....
waiting...
later.
great.
just great.
everything bad happens to me in kenya.
i found out at lunch the other day.
i don't usually have chocolate.
actually i have it almost never.
but i decided i would find out if i was allergic.
like my dad.
i would always joke about it.
i mean
who in the world is allergic to chocolate?
me.
i thought i wasn't allergic to anything.
people are allergic to peanuts.
chemicals.
special color dyes.
even water.
i break out will suspicious looking rashes.
especially on my fourarms.
...
did i just write fourarms?
ha.
four arms.
a common mistake.
i do not in fact have four arms.
maybe it's just kenyan chocolate?
i hope?
....
this week is my week off.
actually it's my week to do school work.
i just don't have to get up early.
but it's kinda ironic....
they give us vacation...
to do work...
??
did i miss something there?
when i'm not doing school work or avoiding chocolate
i'm drawing cartoons and stick figures.
i'm also on the school basketball team.
the most fun i have at school is on that court.
it's that or
i'm writing my novel.
or rapping.
or working out.
or adding to my comic strip, JUNIOR.
or dreaming weird dreams.
or not getting an sleep.
ok.
so here's one of the dreams i had.
i had the power of flight.
and people were hiding things in suitcases for me to find.
but i don't actually know they were for me.
on impulse i took the suitcases.
i don't remember what i did with them when i took them.
i was also wearing gloves.
while i was in the air i threw them at green and light colored trees.
after that i went to open the gate, thinking that a huge truck was leaving the house.
but instead here comes a small guy with a wheelbarrow.
i was completely confused.
i went to the back of the truck to sit down.
there's this guy there accusing me of something.
i deny whatever he's accusing me of and ask him if they found my finger prints.
he says,
and i quote,
"Big whoop, you wore gloves."
i then explain to him that i threw them at the trees.
and then he said something that confused me so much i woke up.
"You cried and washed our hands off with your tears."
another night.
this time there were no dreams.
well
technically
i didn't sleep.
it happened last thursday night.
i finish my work and studying at about 12am.
i go to sleep.
at least i try.
there's this stupid ladder in my room.
it fell waking me up and scaring the crap out of me.
then i couldn't go back to sleep.
i would close my eyes for a few seconds and almost drift off...
but then "EEEEEEEEE!!!!"
the horrible sound of a mosquito, right in my ear.
so i stumbled out of bed to get my mosquito net when i stubbed my toe on my desk leg.
i finally get the net.
i climb into bed and i hit my head on the desk and my phone falls then slides under the bed.
great.
if i thought that was all....
someone turns on the light and says
"wake up".
at this point in time i'm screaming "why me?why me?".
in my head of course.
i finally reach down and get my phone.
4:53am.
2hrs and 7mins of sleep i'm betting.
today is day350
i can't wait to leave.
i say i can't wait.
but here i am....
waiting...
later.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
day346
so i get really bored in this country sometimes.
really bored.
but nothing compares to the first 4 months.
you would probably say that there's no way i could get bored.
Bryan, you're in another country.
you're in kenya!
i started a match collection.
a friken match collection.
as in like....
i took some burnt matches and kept them.
in a box.
pathetically bored.
i dont do that anymore.
no way.
i stopped counting at 439 matches.
so next time you think, "man i'm so bored."
think about this.
you're probably a lot more creative than me.
and can think of something better to occupy your time than collecting matches .
i found out things about kenya while i stayed here.
ever heard of Shrubbing?
i doubt it.
but it's hilarious.
it like THE THING here.
Shrubbing is when you think something but you say something else.
the shrub i hear the most often would be "crass" instead of "class".
in America, if you shrub, no one makes a big deal of it.
i shrub all the time.
whether or not anyone else notices.
just today i said, "are you chidding me?"
i meant "are you kidding me?"
but what you mean doesn't always come out.
kenya also has like a mirror reflection to every sport.
Soccer-football
Softball-rounders
American Football-rugby
Basketball-netball
Baseball-cricket
and their phones are expensive.
like a phone that you could get in America for $100 you get there for $200 and sometimes $250.
a total rip-off.
however, a decent phone with MP3 capability, camera and texting you could get for $140
if you take swahili at a Grade 9 level, you WILL fail.
guaranteed.
trust me.
i know.
from experience.
and even if you know it
don't pretend you can speak it.
because it's kinda obvious you're not a local.
my accent gave it all away
not matter how much i learned.
and food.
the cheapest food [ and cheapest tasting food] you can find
is at school.
depending on what you buy.
like a soda is 27cents
a pizza 55cents
and lunch [like rice and chicken] would be like $2 sometimes less.
oh and there's this place called Nakumatt
which is the same thing as Walmart
only the don't sell clothes at Nakumatt.
so these are most of the different things you might find out if you come to kenya.
and stay for as long as i have.
346 days.
later.
really bored.
but nothing compares to the first 4 months.
you would probably say that there's no way i could get bored.
Bryan, you're in another country.
you're in kenya!
i started a match collection.
a friken match collection.
as in like....
i took some burnt matches and kept them.
in a box.
pathetically bored.
i dont do that anymore.
no way.
i stopped counting at 439 matches.
so next time you think, "man i'm so bored."
think about this.
you're probably a lot more creative than me.
and can think of something better to occupy your time than collecting matches .
i found out things about kenya while i stayed here.
ever heard of Shrubbing?
i doubt it.
but it's hilarious.
it like THE THING here.
Shrubbing is when you think something but you say something else.
the shrub i hear the most often would be "crass" instead of "class".
in America, if you shrub, no one makes a big deal of it.
i shrub all the time.
whether or not anyone else notices.
just today i said, "are you chidding me?"
i meant "are you kidding me?"
but what you mean doesn't always come out.
kenya also has like a mirror reflection to every sport.
Soccer-football
Softball-rounders
American Football-rugby
Basketball-netball
Baseball-cricket
and their phones are expensive.
like a phone that you could get in America for $100 you get there for $200 and sometimes $250.
a total rip-off.
however, a decent phone with MP3 capability, camera and texting you could get for $140
if you take swahili at a Grade 9 level, you WILL fail.
guaranteed.
trust me.
i know.
from experience.
and even if you know it
don't pretend you can speak it.
because it's kinda obvious you're not a local.
my accent gave it all away
not matter how much i learned.
and food.
the cheapest food [ and cheapest tasting food] you can find
is at school.
depending on what you buy.
like a soda is 27cents
a pizza 55cents
and lunch [like rice and chicken] would be like $2 sometimes less.
oh and there's this place called Nakumatt
which is the same thing as Walmart
only the don't sell clothes at Nakumatt.
so these are most of the different things you might find out if you come to kenya.
and stay for as long as i have.
346 days.
later.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
day343
i'm here at school with my friend Isa.
yes, i have friends.
just because i dont like a country doesnt mean hate the people.
i dont have any enemies in this school....
okay maybe one but if you think i'm gonna just blurt out her name to the world...
oh...great.
see, now you know it's a "she".
ok back to the "i dont like the country" part.
it's a nice country it's just not "at home" for me.
you know what i mean?
like...
there are so many different things on a daily basis that i miss.
the small stuff.
like driving on the right side of the road.
and actually going to church.
i know.
i think i just broke 3 teenage rules by saying that.
its so friken hard to explain why i like America so much.
people look at me and wonder,
why are you so passionate about a place?
well all i can say is...
it's not the place as much as what's in the place
like my family.
like my friends.
like macaroni and cheese.
can you imagine a life without macaroni and cheese?
but seriously...
this country lacks a certain American-ness.
you're probably like,
"yea, duh, it's kenya."
but i wish i could bring America with me like in my pocket.
a life long dream.
oh yea.
with halloween right around the corner and my friend's birthday on the 23rd
i look forward to this month with great pleasure and anticipation.
....
NOT.
i dont look forward to anything nowadays except for Saturday when i talk to my friend on AIM.
every other day it's "study this" and "study that" and
"clean your own underwear because we dont have a washing machine and the maid washes by hand because it's so convenient espeially on a rainy day"
sigh.
day343
and i'll just keep counting.
later.
yes, i have friends.
just because i dont like a country doesnt mean hate the people.
i dont have any enemies in this school....
okay maybe one but if you think i'm gonna just blurt out her name to the world...
oh...great.
see, now you know it's a "she".
ok back to the "i dont like the country" part.
it's a nice country it's just not "at home" for me.
you know what i mean?
like...
there are so many different things on a daily basis that i miss.
the small stuff.
like driving on the right side of the road.
and actually going to church.
i know.
i think i just broke 3 teenage rules by saying that.
its so friken hard to explain why i like America so much.
people look at me and wonder,
why are you so passionate about a place?
well all i can say is...
it's not the place as much as what's in the place
like my family.
like my friends.
like macaroni and cheese.
can you imagine a life without macaroni and cheese?
but seriously...
this country lacks a certain American-ness.
you're probably like,
"yea, duh, it's kenya."
but i wish i could bring America with me like in my pocket.
a life long dream.
oh yea.
with halloween right around the corner and my friend's birthday on the 23rd
i look forward to this month with great pleasure and anticipation.
....
NOT.
i dont look forward to anything nowadays except for Saturday when i talk to my friend on AIM.
every other day it's "study this" and "study that" and
"clean your own underwear because we dont have a washing machine and the maid washes by hand because it's so convenient espeially on a rainy day"
sigh.
day343
and i'll just keep counting.
later.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
day342
so let me fill you in on the details.
as i said before this is my 2nd year in kenya, my 342nd day.
the first year wasnt so bad...
for the first 4 months.
then i realized i had a life before i came here.
a good one too.
and i missed my family and friends.
typical.
then school started. January 14th 2008m, day130.
i had a uniform {barf} a green tie, grey pants, a white shirt, black socks, and black shoes.
stupid uniform.
then i learned, and very quickly, that school systems in kenya are a lot harder than your average American schools.
a lot more homework too.
after a bazillion tests and an unimaginable hours of studying
my birthday came, day187.
i celebrated it with 3 people.
me,
myself,
and I.
yay.
oh and Sammy, my pipe-cleaner friend who later died when confronted with an open car window and a big moving tire.
:{
4 months after that i left the school knowing i probably failed every exam.
except Art.
a no-brainer.
and this being a kenyan school i wouldnt get my results until i came back from America.
if i came back.
July 13th 2008 day311,i left kenya thinking i would never come back.
the happiest day of the year
by far.
saw my parents and my brother [J-bro] and my sister [TC] at the airport and my friends a few days after.
i went to a christian camp
and a performing arts camp
and my friends houses.
my best friends my age are
Torrent G.
Dylan W.
Bonnie F.
Briana D.
Alicia B.
Jamie S.
and
Rachael B.
we hung out as much as we could.
8 weeks later i was on a plane to London
i began my 312th day in kenya on september 14th 2008.
i missed 2 weeks of school, so i had to catch up.
again.
yay.
and i went back to my GET UP AT 5AM-EAT-PUT ON STUPID UNIFORM-RUSH OUT DOOR routine.
another yay.
so here i am now, day342, in kenya....
i've done some tests and quizzes and i think i passed them.
emphasis on the word think.
i mean
lets face it.
i'm not the sharpest pencil in the case.
later.
as i said before this is my 2nd year in kenya, my 342nd day.
the first year wasnt so bad...
for the first 4 months.
then i realized i had a life before i came here.
a good one too.
and i missed my family and friends.
typical.
then school started. January 14th 2008m, day130.
i had a uniform {barf} a green tie, grey pants, a white shirt, black socks, and black shoes.
stupid uniform.
then i learned, and very quickly, that school systems in kenya are a lot harder than your average American schools.
a lot more homework too.
after a bazillion tests and an unimaginable hours of studying
my birthday came, day187.
i celebrated it with 3 people.
me,
myself,
and I.
yay.
oh and Sammy, my pipe-cleaner friend who later died when confronted with an open car window and a big moving tire.
:{
4 months after that i left the school knowing i probably failed every exam.
except Art.
a no-brainer.
and this being a kenyan school i wouldnt get my results until i came back from America.
if i came back.
July 13th 2008 day311,i left kenya thinking i would never come back.
the happiest day of the year
by far.
saw my parents and my brother [J-bro] and my sister [TC] at the airport and my friends a few days after.
i went to a christian camp
and a performing arts camp
and my friends houses.
my best friends my age are
Torrent G.
Dylan W.
Bonnie F.
Briana D.
Alicia B.
Jamie S.
and
Rachael B.
we hung out as much as we could.
8 weeks later i was on a plane to London
i began my 312th day in kenya on september 14th 2008.
i missed 2 weeks of school, so i had to catch up.
again.
yay.
and i went back to my GET UP AT 5AM-EAT-PUT ON STUPID UNIFORM-RUSH OUT DOOR routine.
another yay.
so here i am now, day342, in kenya....
i've done some tests and quizzes and i think i passed them.
emphasis on the word think.
i mean
lets face it.
i'm not the sharpest pencil in the case.
later.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
day339
well here i am.
in kenya.
dont really want to be.
but hey...
it's life.
my name?
depends on who you are.
i go by different names nowadays.
bryan.
bry.
bristol.
shaq.
the amerikid.
bryo.
b.
flik.
theBryster.
barack.
obama.
hey you.
let me start by saying that i like my life.
i just dont like where i live my life.
in kenya.
today is day 339.
my second year in this country.
i'm a sophmore.
15.5 years old.
i'm an american in kenya.
and this is my life.
in kenya.
dont really want to be.
but hey...
it's life.
my name?
depends on who you are.
i go by different names nowadays.
bryan.
bry.
bristol.
shaq.
the amerikid.
bryo.
b.
flik.
theBryster.
barack.
obama.
hey you.
let me start by saying that i like my life.
i just dont like where i live my life.
in kenya.
today is day 339.
my second year in this country.
i'm a sophmore.
15.5 years old.
i'm an american in kenya.
and this is my life.
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